Being Defective

So…OBVIOUSLY I am a mom. I’m gonna cut right to the chase: I’m probably like A LOT of other moms out there who can’t get this whole “motherhood” thing to just flow naturally. It kinda stinks at times, and try as you might, it wears you down and becomes the biggest hurdle of your life. I’ve been on this journey for less than 10 years and so I ASSUME this blog will be a blatantly horrific tale of my role as mom as I develop.

I’ll just come out and say it. Being “defective” isn’t the end of the world.

Although it does mean admitting to a struggle that feels overwhelming. As moms, I don’t think we can say with any ounce of certainty that there is not at least some small part of us, our characters, our past, our identity that doesn’t feel somehow defective.

We must face our failures and hope to overcome. Life is a process. It’s messy. It’s dirty. It’s loud and frustrating, as well as beautiful, and for some of us, we yearn for the beautiful, and seeing it takes some intention on our parts. It may not feel as easy and natural as other moms seem to find it. “Beauty is fleeting” and although the saying often refers to outward appearances, I find that the very act of discovering the beauty in everyday life seems fleeting as waves of reality and struggle takes center stage.

I have recently been hearing a phrase in a few different places that speaks to me deeply. You know something is important when you hear it from a variety of sources. This was that. I heard it through MOPS, and at my home church.

Give the gift of going second.

Sometimes it’s hard to stand up and admit to a failure or struggle when you feel like you’re alone or the only one who has had to walk that road. So I’ll go first.